The Number One reason married couples come to New Hope Counseling Service is, “We have a breakdown in communication.”
Communication breakdown is not confined to marriage relationships. If you can talk you have the potential for a communication breakdown.
Politeness and civility take a backseat when two or more disagree on any given subject at any given time in any given arena.
Last time we asked this question: How do you maintain the proper balance of the normal security and significance needs of the husband and wife after marriage – know what these needs are before getting married?
This statement begs one further question: Suppose you did not get premarital counseling?
More than half the couples coming to us for counseling did not go through premarital counseling. Over the past 30 years this ministry has proven putting married couples through premarital counseling is most productive.
In this session we learn males and females are equal but they are different. This is not new information for most people, although I do not recall hearing a sermon on this aspect of marriage. But what is new is how this plays out in the realm of problem solving between a husband and his wife.
Someone said there are no marriage problems; there are singles problems carried into marriages. In counseling, I deal with this in premarital counseling so they don’t affect the marriage.
Know What Makes Your Spouse Tick Not What Ticks Your Spouse
The above caption will be a continuing theme for the next several lessons.
This title evokes many thoughts – some positive and some negative.
In the last session we learned males and females are equal but that they are different. They are equal because both were created in the image of God according to Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them.
In this session we will begin to look at how, although equal, they arte different in so many aspects. The first of the differences we will observe is their differences in human personal worth.
Personal worth is made up primarily of two elements: Security and Significance. Although there are elements of both in females and males proportionally they are different. Follow this simple illustration.
If we could weigh a woman’s personal worth on a set of balance scales we would see she weighs heavier on the Security side and lighter on the Significant side. Although, as a female, she needs an element of Significance she needs a greater amount of Security to balance her female profile.
All we have learned thus far regarding problem solving and dealing with communication breakdowns are applicable between husbands and wives. However, the arena in the marriage relationship is different from any other arena of human relationships.
Dr. Ed Wheat, M.D. in his classic book, Love Life, for Every Married Couple © 1980, makes a most declarative statement regarding marriage: