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Nov 20th

Godly Relationships

Anger Management – God’s Way

Tom C Lacy cropped

We can change our actions faster than we can change our feelings. Love is not just feelings it is also actions. John 3:16 does not say, For God so loved the world that He felt good about us. God so loved the world He went into action regarding our need by giving.

John 3:17, perhaps not as well known as 3:16 supports this problem-solving tool. “For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

The following scenario illustrates changing actions faster than feelings and may have been experienced by some reading the following illustration:

Feuding, fussing and verbally fighting

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How to Attack the Problem and Not the Person, Part II

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Counselees, former and current, say this is the most valuable problem-solving tool in my problem-solving-tool-kit. And I agree.  This tool is built on the time tested proven axiom:  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  If we prevent problems from developing we do not need to seek a cure.  This tool is easiest taught in the context of husbands and wives. From these illustrations the tool can be adapted to fit many other areas where problems occur.

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How to Attack the Problem and Not the Person, Part I

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As previously stated, every impact statement is a tool. This tool, however, is the first of three primary tools in this overall study on problem solving. It is built on the age-old premise: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The best way to solve a problem is to prevent it from occurring. This approach is best applied when we understand the four primary sources of problems.

Author’s Note: In Bible research I developed a tracking method I call The Rule of Proportion, i.e. how many times does a particular incident occur in Scripture. The Rule of Proportion gives an idea of the probability of similar events re-occuring. This is vital to understand in counseling as many often ask, “God, why did you let this happen to me?”

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Three Things People Do To Solve Problems That Do Not Work And Why They Do Not Work

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In the problem solving process a person’s objectivity is often based on their most recent experience. Don’t disregard all past experiences, for in doing so, we put an axe to the axiom experience is the best teacher. However, what worked in the past might not be workable for the present or the future. Past experiences could be elements of current problems.

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Problem Solving 101

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The three levels of a problem are the Presentation, Performance and Preconditioning. Knowing these predictable stages expedites problem solving. Remember, we will never be without problems yet we need never be without a solution.

Problems come from many sources that initially we process internally. We acknowledge them first by giving them thought then by giving them a name or assigning them to someone or something. As the thought germinates we state it verbally to someone. That someone could be the person we believe to be directly involved in the problem as we see it or someone selected to be a sounding board.

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Problems Are Solutions in Disguise

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This may seem an over simplification of all you have struggled with for perhaps too long – but it is not. For every problem God has a solution. The first step in solving problems is giving the problem the correct name.

As a Bible-based teacher/counselor it is not my calling to name people’s problems. It is up to them to tell me what they are experiencing. From their descriptions the problems will actually name themselves.

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You Can’t Steer a Parked Car

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Earlier I stated every tool in this series is based on a verse, passage or biblical principle. When teaching this tool in a counseling setting many say upon seeing the flash card, “I’m not an expert on the Bible, but I have never read that verse in my King James Version.”

It is in the Bible, but stated differently; and just as succinctly. It is found in Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He will steer your car. (Actually) and he shall direct thy paths.”

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The Is No Change If There Is No Change

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The following plan is simple to state. Like anything worthwhile it takes personal discipline; but half the battle is won if we have confidence in the plan. Here it is: Find a plan that works. Employ it as your plan. As you exercise the plan modify it to fit you. You then have your personal plan of problem solving that will lead to victory. This leads us to the third level of change.

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Words of Wisdom from Marriage Counselor

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Problems Are Solutions In Disguise

Tool One: Up Until Now Everything You've Done Has Not Worked

"Tom, where do you start when people come to you for counseling? What is the first thing you say to them?"

My answer seems evasive, but it is not.

"I start at the beginning."

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The Bible and Interracial Marriage


Creation Ministries
Even though the Bible makes it clear that all people are descended from Adam and Eve (so they must be very closely related),1 there are still misconceptions among some Christians surrounding 'race'. Surprisingly, perhaps, this can include concerns about the idea of marriage between two believers from different so-called races.

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The New Challenge for Blacks: Maintaining our Dignity to Preserve the Virtue tnd Legacy of the Civil Rights Struggle


Hate speech does not come from those who tell the truth. It comes from those who hate the truth and love a lie.  

Using the civil rights struggle to promote the sexual appetites of the homosexual agenda is an affront to the dignity of black people. No other group in America has had to suffer the wicked injustices as did African blacks who were forced to provide hard labor with no compensation, and their American descendants.

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Attacks on DOMA Threaten Marriage, Church-State Relations, Warns Archbishop Dolan in Letter to President

Seeks dialogue with President on definition of marriage as union of a man and a woman
Objects to Justice Department comparing support for marriage definition with racism
Archbishop to President: Push the reset button on approach to DOMA

WASHINGTON—The Obama Administration’s fight against the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which defines marriage as between one man and one woman, will undermine marriage and create a serious breach of Church-State relations, Archbishop Timothy Dolan, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, wrote in a September 20 letter to President Barack Obama,

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FRC Urges Retailers to Resist Pressure to Discriminate Against Customers With Traditional, Biblical View of Marriage

WASHINGTON , D.C. - In recent weeks, online political activists have engaged in a misinformation campaign that seeks to bully retailers such as Walgreens, Petco, and Netflix into discriminating against customers and charities based on their religious beliefs, specifically the traditional and biblical view of marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

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The Interfaith Series Crisis

Video Sanctity of Life, Racism, Abortion

Proverbs 24, verses 11 and 12 Deliver those who are drawn toward death, And hold back those stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, “Surely we did not know this,” Does not He who weighs the hearts consider it? He who keeps your soul, does He not know it? And will He not render to each man according to his deeds?

VIDEO Sanctity of Life Epidemic

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