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Biblical Parenting v. Technocracy
By J. Jeff Toler for Shenandoah Christian Alliance j.toler@sca4christ.org
It’s a well-established fact that computer tech moguls have always had serious misgivings about allowing their own children to spend time on the smart phone or tablet.
In an updated January online article for CRM.ORG titled, Bill Gates & Steve Jobs Limited Screen Time for Their Kids, Christopher Sirk writes, “Tech entrepreneurs, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, restricted their children from using the same tech gadgets they created.” Read it here online.
“It is actually quite well known (at least in the tech industry) that these two tech moguls didn’t allow their children to own cell phones till they reached a specific age.”
In another article appearing in the UK’s Mirror online, describes how Gates delayed his own kids’ use of cell phones. Read it here online.
This is evidence that shows these two at least, knew something too many of us didn’t at the time. I suppose that is understandable, and maybe we can even be excused for our carelessness with giving our own kids the tools to explore what arguably any parent could have known was forbidden territory for a child: a modern day “Pleasure Island” if you will.
Sure, Pinocchio was just a wooden toy that magically became a real boy, and sure, Geppetto was just a lonely old toymaker that only wanted to be father to a real boy. But even Disney’s liberalized version of the original story by C. Collodi (Carlo Lorenzini) reminds us that both Pinocchio and Geppetto find themselves in such terrible misadventures because their innocence simply didn’t prepare them for the cruelty of others.
Originally a serialized morality story published in mid-nineteenth century Italy, Pinocchio could still teach us much about the timeless truths for today. Or at least they should be true. Growing up, my mom and dad told me not to take anything from a stranger or even to talk to one.
My parents didn’t have an app to locate where I was, or any real way to know what I was doing. They trusted me to keep out of trouble and for my part, I was usually smart enough to avoid it. Usually. As I was growing up, I knew Mom and Dad weren’t there just to be my friends, and grant me my wishes.
They could be dictatorial at times, but I would eventually realize that was how I would learn to be both independent and responsible. It’s not like this anymore for kids in these present times.
Too many parents today are not willing to be the parents their kids instinctively want and desperately need them to be.
In a recent podcast, “The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make Today,” Andrew Klavan interviewed Dr. Leonard Sax, MD, PhD. Watch it on YouTube here. He is the author of “The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups.” It’s available on Amazon now.
Sax has earned his chops and knows what he’s talking about when it comes to parenting. He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) at the age of 19, and then went on to the University of Pennsylvania, where he earned both a PhD in psychology, and an MD.
Upon completing a three-year residency in family practice in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Dr. Sax began a family practice in Maryland, just outside Washington DC.
Sax says what’s missing in today’s culture is the authoritative parent, saying, “Many of these problems can be tied directly to parents and in their failure to exercise their authority.”
The emphasis of his book is on empowering parents to do their job—especially parents of faith. He cites Deuteronomy 6 and Proverbs 16. He claims, “There’s so [many] clear messages of scripture that is your job as a parent if you are a parent of faith. If you are a Jewish or a Christian parent, you are called to do this.”
He has developed a presentation for parents called Evidence-Based Parenting, which could also be called biblical parenting because the evidence of the longitudinal cohort studies show that the authoritative parent’s kids have the best outcomes. Please open the link—you won’t regret it.
Let’s be honest, the lack of biblical, authoritative parenting has produced a generation of pretty messed up kids.
Klavan tells us he interviewed Jonathon Haidt who believes that smart technology is the underlying cause for generational ills. He says as much in his 2024 New York Times bestseller, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. But for Sax it’s missing an important caveat. [Listen to his explanation here]
We learn that not all countries are experiencing most of the serious issues that are unique to the English speaking countries in the western world like the US, UK, Canada, and Australia for example. So, you may be asking, why is that? The answer is found in the descriptor, because these are English-speaking countries.
Leonard Sax, PhD, MD
Sax explains that for parents today, generational wisdom has been replaced by the so-called advice from the new authorities like those at the New York Times. And it’s also found online in places like TikTok, Instagram, and all of the popular social media.
He draws a parallel with the relationship of malaria and Anopheles mosquito with disrupted families. You see, smart phones and social media are vectors, as is the mosquito. They don’t cause malaria, they spread it. The malaria pathogen is the causal agent. What is the causal agent for increased anxiety, depression and even gender confusion and our student age kids? Wait for it.
The spread of American popular culture
This is a drum I have been banging for quite some time now if you have been reading me for any length of time—and paying any attention.
- “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden” —Matthew 5:13-14
If we know the causal agent for the steady, precipitous decline of the American family, and the terminal illness of bad parenting is American popular culture, do we intervene with the eternal life saving vaccine of truth found in the Gospel or not? If we do, how do we do it?
The creation mandate calls Christians to cultural engagement. Some say that Christians should:
- Live in the midst of their cultural contexts
- Seek to steer cultural realities toward Christ
- Understand culture and speak its language
- Identify culture’s true desires
- Show how Christ is the only one who can fulfill those desires
We just saw something take place that is unique in the modern era of American politics. Finally, we hope, something is clearly emerging from the repudiation of the current brand of American popular politics. Enough people said, “Okay, why not just reject the message we’ve been receiving for so long? It’s making us sick.”
Stopping the causal effect of malaria requires vector controls like long-lasting insecticidal nets and medicinal interventions.
Stopping the causal effect of American popular culture on families—certainly its most sickening pathologies—is going to include the control of its most powerful vectors.
Agree or not, the Gospel message is by far the most effectual remedy.
