Know What Makes Your Spouse Tick Not What Ticks Your Spouse: The Two Elements of Personal Worth

Tom C Lacy cropped

ATTENTION: Major social media outlets are finding ways to block the conservative/evangelical viewpoint. Click here for daily electronic delivery of the day's top blogs from Virginia Christian Alliance.

In the last session we learned males and females are equal but that they are different. They are equal because both were created in the image of God according to Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them.

            In this session we will begin to look at how, although equal, they arte different in so many aspects. The first of the differences we will observe is their differences in human personal worth.

            Personal worth is made up primarily of two elements: Security and Significance. Although there are elements of both in females and males proportionally they are different. Follow this simple illustration.

            If we could weigh a woman’s personal worth on a set of balance scales we would see she weighs heavier on the Security side and lighter on the Significant side. Although, as a female, she needs an element of Significance she needs a greater amount of Security to balance her female profile.  

            If we could weigh a man’s personal worth on a set of balance scales we would see he weighs heavier on the Significance side and lighter on the Security side. Although, as a male, he needs an element of Security he needs a greater amount of Significance to balance his male profile.

            When we look at the four areas of responsibility God appointed to the male and female we will see the Wisdom God applied in striking a balance in these factors of male and female personal worth.

            In a brief review, God assigned to the male these responsibilities: Protector, Teacher, Provider and Leader/Guide. To the woman these responsibilities: Companion, Helper, Create Life and Home Maker.

We would appreciate your donation.

            Immediately we see she is more vulnerable in her life-roles partnership with her husband than he is. Thus her greater need is security while his is significance. In balance these are compatible not competitive roles.            

            Reaching back further in our studies, we learned through First Corinthians 11:7b: “…for as much as he is the image and glory of God.” That is, as the male and female see their earthly father that is where they get their image of God who is the Ultimate Image of our significance and security. Separately, a married woman’s image of God also comes to her through her husband.

            As an illustration, I quote the title Chuck Swindol applies to one of his husband/wife lessons: “To Strike the Perfect Match.” God did this for us at the time of mankind’s creation.

            Lest I be misunderstood, to be properly balanced regarding one’s personal worth, the female needs a certain amount of significance and the male needs a certain amount of security.         

            You might ask, “If it is this cut and dried where is the problem?”

            The Problem: A wrong belief as to what makes us Secure and what makes us Significant will lead us to do wrong things to become Secure or Significant – in our view of ourselves.

            Illustration: If I believed that having a “River-Road-Address” would make me Significant – and felt driven to do so; but because I do not have the where-with-all to live in that prestigious neighborhood, I would do something wrong to attain that Significance.

            The false security I would attain with a River-Road-Address would be to self-inflate my Significance. A man may try to become more significant through an illicit relationship.

            Illustration: If a woman feels insecure, as a single woman or a married woman, she would do something wrong to enhance her need for the security she feels she lacks. She may seek Security by increasing her view of her Significance. She may do this in the market place, in the sports arena or she may do this through an illicit relationship.

            In an earlier lesson we learned: There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Next time;Know What Makes Your Wife Tick Not What Ticks Your Wife: How to Maintain the Proper Balance of Security and Significance in Marriage

Tom C Lacy croppedRev. Thomas (Tom) C. Lacy, Advisory Board Member of the Virginia Christian Alliance and Founder and Director, of New Hope Counseling Service.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views the Virginia Christian Alliance

About the Author

Virginia Christian Alliance
The mission of the VIRGINIA CHRISTIAN ALLIANCE is to promote moral, social and scientific issues we face today from a Biblical point of view. In addition we will refute and oppose, not with hate, but with facts and humor, the secular cultural abuses that have overridden laws and standards of conduct of the past. We will encourage Christians to participate in these efforts through conferences, development of position papers, booklets and tracts, radio/TV spots, newspaper ads and articles and letters-to-the editor, web sites, newsletters and providing speakers for church and civic meetings.