The mere mention of the word money evokes a variety of thoughts and emotions in many individuals.
The Bible is perhaps one of the most quoted and misquoted books ever written. For instance, it is often stated the Bible says money is the root of all evil – but not so.
Actually, First Timothy 6:10a reads: “For the love of money is the root of all evil.”
Regardless of how money affects any person’s mind and emotions, money is one of the six reasons marriages fail.
Money can be problematical in other types of relationships, but our focus on money is how it can affect marriages.
Many agree money in not everything, but inwardly they might deny these words. Some marriages make it on very little money; some will not make it on very much money.
So the question arises, is money itself the problem? Problems in marriage might stem from the mismanagement of money whether there is a little or a lot.
If a couple begins a marriage that is debt-laden immediate financial counseling is a must. In fact, money and/or money management should be a major issue in all premarital counseling.
The adage plan your work and work your plan is as important in money matters as any other area of life. Following are several areas money matters have created problems in marriages.
Debts brought into a marriage may be legitimate obligations such as educational loans debt or debt from an unavoidable catastrophe.
A major break-sown revolving around this set of circumstances is maintaining the above as “your debt’ and “my debt.”
Marriage was designed by God to be the only one-flesh relationship known to human beings which includes their finances. The your/my concept of handling issues might develop into his and hers habits of thinking. Thus the trust factor is greatly reduced in a budding marriage relationship.
If these matters were not discussed in premarital counseling immediate financial counseling is a must.
Financial shockwaves are among the most unsettling situations revolving around money issues. These can arise if one spouse, or the other, makes a large purchase or a “good investment” without confiding in the other.
This creates a serious breach of trust, not to mention it could plunge both parties into long-term debt obligations or a loss of family savings.
A good rule for a new family to adopt is always say, “No,” when immediate answers must be given regarding financial matters. Unless, of course, the matter has been fully discussed and agreed upon beforehand – always say, “No.”
Do what the salesperson doesn’t want you to do. Go home and sleep on it before rendering a decision.
As a matter of extra precaution a couple might want to delay the decision and pray the matter through one more time before signing on the dotted line.
A prudent person will seldom lose out on a great deal.
No, money is not everything, but the mismanagement of money is often the undoing of a stable marriage relationship.
Next time:
Another Source of Marriage Problems – Sex
Rev. Thomas (Tom) C. Lacy, Advisory Board Member of the Virginia Christian Alliance and Founder and Director, of New Hope Counseling Service.
